Unstable

This isn't a new issue for me. Moody? Unpredictable? Yes. But what's bothering me is the reason why I'm acting this way. If you haven't known me for quite a while, weird is the word that will surely enter your mind.

I usually get what I want like gadgets, money, and other needs and wants. But when I cannot have the one I'm eying for, my emotions starts to get unstable. How unstable? Ask my friend. I will start talking and asking things like some paranoid man. Ok. Add that - paranoia. I'm just very thankful that she can handle all my episodes (all... i mean a lot). Haha.

I'm so over conscious of what other people might say, see, or presume towards me. I'm not perfect but I don't want people to stare at me and think something bad.

My episodes are categorized in two: Minor and Major.

Minor episodes are the ones that will end hours later or the following day. While Major episodes can last for a week or months. Most of the time, these Major episodes are caused by a person close to me or someone I have feelings for. lol

I have this habit of daydreaming like I'm in some fantasy land where everything is perfect. Then moments later, I will realize that this would end. I wake up and another episode starts.

I know that I need to learn how to be contented with what I have and be thankful for the people who care for me. But this can be difficult because I know that there's still an empty space in my life waiting to be filled.

For now, it's just coffee and me... again.

*Thanks to Sara for the pic.